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Friday, February 24, 2006

\\*a question of 'what if?'*//

What if I had not slept today and gone swimming instead?
I would be exercising and feel more alert! I won't feel so tired. I would make sure I would be fit for NAFTA test. I would be healthier I suppose rather than tied down by stress....

What if I had started learning the guitar by now?
It won't be sitting right there dusty at the corner of the living room n need to tuning.

What if i had focused n written those essay-long answers faster n more accurately?
I won't be here reflecting on those mistakes I've made n wishing I had been much better at my humanities tests especially.
But they're msitakes meant to be learnt frm.

What if I had been managing my time properly and strictly, have a proper study schedule, revise all my work promptly, no watch too much tv, and what else I've been doing currently.....
I won't be sitting here wasting my time. And get more of my sleep. Rather than letting sleep interfere with my afternoons.
I would have been up to date with my work. I would have paid more attention during class. I would know what the teacher is talking about. I would not be left behind in my work.
But then no TV?

What if I had not been complacent n practised more of my A Maths?
Surely I would then know how to do those trigo questions.
I had been dying there at the first part of the paper. There goes an A. or even a B or a C for all u noe.

What if i had not combined my sciences Bio n Physics?
It's possible I might get a distinction for both subjects for O levels. But then...u never know.
Humanities subjects will be going down the drain.
and now I'm taking this huge risk of depending more on my humanities n Pure Chem. Stupid.
Bio-Physics better get me my A1.

But then I'm convinced, i'm convinced. I'm not gonna regret. I'm gonna go ahead n not look back.
N pray hopefully all the best in whatever I'm gonna do.

Slipped Away|11:00 PM|

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

\\*flood after flood never ending....*//

As if I'm free to update my blog today.
Never!
That's why i took so long to finally update this blog. Heck I don't even update my personal diary chucked in between other assessment bks in the bkcase.

Dear blog, I'm so sorry to have neglected u for a while already.
You see, I've been very busy lately. Tests came in droves right after Chinese New Year ended. At least they kept me up to date with the lessons so far and i consider studying for these tests as revision for O levels in...10 months time? n u can imagine how fast 2 months has been.
Talking abt O levels, O level results were finally released last Friday! I got an A2!! A distinction!! n another distinction for the oral component. I'm proud of myself, cos today i juz realised that I'm comparable to the others in Higher Malay Class. It's ok that I didn't get an A1. The only problem I have wif not getting an A1 is that I would still have to work towards an A1 for all 6 components in L1R5. Oh n that certain cikgus have alwaes been expecting me to get an A1. Other than that, I'm fine.

Oh gosh the English results of last yr's cohort were scary. Few people received distinctions, n sum ppl expected to get a distinction didn't. N the sciences, Physics n Chem esp, as per usual, very few distinctions. Never realised those two papers were really that hard to score. Overall, the results of last yr's cohort fell frm the previous yr. Imagine what the burden would be like on our yr to do well n pick up results. Teachers r like forcing subjects n words of advice that are to be adhered to down our throats.

The cheers. the screams. the cries. of joy and of disappointment. Floods of emotions when that day comes. How will I ever be able to face that day...in one year's time, when the all-impt O levels are over but not ur future, in fact it's only the beginning. Right here, Right now.
n Now the time to make those decisions...affect prob the rest of ur life in ur career blah blah. N i'm still stuck at the question between JC or Poly. While sum others r planning their university life already. Well, at least I know what I want to do is definitely not in Sciences. Contemplating career in Business or Communications. That will get me started. Choices r better to be narrowed down rather than left wide open, makes one more stressed. Oh please can I combine my Physics n Bio???? It just doesn't seem right. Like I'm taking the easy way out. Or can I just drop Bio? Oh wait, potential distinction subject. Bleh.

11.51 am. With floods of homework, cleared, Thank God! N floods of tests, revision work, choices, activities, events, expectations, etc. still coming in to fill every inch of my brain.
I give up NYAA. I give up doing Lit. No, no not yet. There is hope. It's whether I can reach that aim of distinction still ever so high. Ok keep going. Oh but give up JC education. No? Then, give up doing all the list of activities I'm supposed to follow. No!!!!!!! Then, I give up continuing to write this entry already. It's gonna be midnite!
But.........Ahh there's a flood of mosquitos right about everywhere in the bathroom. N it's getting warm in the room!

I need to cool down, gosh, i'm gonna drown soon.

Slipped Away|11:15 PM|

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